21 Days of Taking Up Space:
Too Much, Too Little, The Right Amount
Day 21: Reclaim the Shame of Being Too Much
I caught up with an old friend the past few days. She wrote a damn good book, but first it pissed me off. It confronted me with some things about myself I didn’t really want to look at. That’s never comfortable. When I told her my initial impression of the book, we...
Day 20: Space for New Friends
I love meeting amazing women and having deep, powerful conversations. When I received a last-minute invitation to a stunning 5-course meal with 9 strangers, I jumped at the opportunity. I had high expectations of the richness of this evening as I wondered who would be...
Day 19: Space, Pressure and Friendships
Several weeks ago, a friend asked via social media for specific recommendations to deal with physical pain--but only if we’d personally experienced good results for ourselves. I briefly shared my experience with my neurosomatic coach. This is the person I credit with...
Day 18: Space to Say No?
Despite the pace of last week, I was determined to carve out some time to spend with my horses. Bentley and I went to the round pen so we could connect and practice playing with energy again like we had several days earlier. It had been such a fun session for both of...
Day 17: Finding Space to Belong
I often feel like an outsider, like I don’t really belong. The story I tell myself is that everyone's humoring me by allowing me to hang out with them. What do I bring to the table, really? A few years ago, I hosted a series of women’s retreats with 3 other women,...
Day 16: Making Space for Clear Communication
Bentley, my grey horse, was bit more anxious than usual the other day, so I was trying to be quieter in my body and not increase his tension. I wanted to communicate softly and quietly so he’d mirror my steadiness and relax his body and mind. He was really leaning...
Day 15: The “Right” Amount of Space
With the maiden name of Klöppel, I was excited about our move to Germany many years back. I was eager to learn the language of my ancestors. What stood out the most about learning a language as an adult was the importance of prepositions. You know--those little words...
Day 14: What’s the Space of Aliveness?
A few weeks ago, I met a new friend who’s at a crossroads about her next career move. She’s held high-profile, high-impact positions in the past, but she’s wise enough to recognize that spending time with her family is important to her. Whatever’s next must fit with...
Day 13: Reclaiming Space from People-Pleasing
As a recovering people pleaser, any conversation that involves conflict is hard. I was recently reminded--again-- that I tend not to ask for something unless I’m 99% sure that the answer will be YES. The story I tell myself is if you give me what I ask for and/or...
Day 12: The Power of Being
My client arrived at the barn frustrated by and still ruminating on an unpleasant conversation she’d had earlier in the day. She found it really hard to let go and be present. In the weeks before, we’d worked together online to reconnect her to her body and herself. ...
Day 11: Reclaiming Space I’d Given Away
Believe it or not, it's taken a year for me to be brave enough to trot my horse without someone else holding on to him. As a horsewoman for over 50 years, I could be really embarrassed by this, but I’m not. Here’s why. Nearly 4 years ago I got bucked off my other...
Day 10: How NOT to Take Up Space
Susan and I had been friends since kindergarten. Her grades were always just little bit better than mine which meant I was often compared to her. When we learned cursive in 3rd grade, her penmanship rivaled our teacher’s! I’d even call it “cute”--that’s how good it...
Day 9: The Space Where Confidence Lives
It used to be that when I was by myself I was as confident as they came. I believed in and trusted myself. I knew the right things to say and I could feel myself acting in healthy ways even in sticky situations. But it rarely turned out the way I'd imagined. I could...
Day 8: Negotiating Sharing a Space
I have a friend here visiting. She was going through a rough time and she took me up on my offer to come down and take a break from it all. I was excited when she finally arrived and I was looking forward to us playing with my horses and exploring healing from an...
Day 7: Space and Anger
I was home from college and the “Freshman 15” I’d put on was still sticking around. I heard my mom and my aunt in the kitchen talking and the subject of my weight gain came up. This was already a sore spot for me. As a swimmer in high school and I was *hungry* when I...
Day 6: The Space of Grief
He was only 7 hands, about 28 inches, at the withers, but that was the only thing small about him. Rooster had a personality big enough to fill a Clydesdale. I’ve learned valuable lessons from all my horses, but Rooster taught me some of the biggest. He arrived with...
Day 4: When the Landscape Changes You
Summers in college, I worked on a small, quiet guest ranch in Estes Park,Colorado. The work was very physical with long hours, but I loved it. It doesn’t get much better than getting paid to ride a horse in beautiful country! On a typical day we’d spend as much as 6...
Day 3: The Day I Said NO
When a Honey Bear container is full, the honey fills every little hair, every bit of nose and ear. We’ve all been allotted an amount of space to occupy in this life. Our challenge is to learn how to take up this space in every moment. All of it. No more. No less. ...
Day 2: Day Middle School Sucks
When I was young, I used to sing in our backyard, imagining and hoping the birds would come. I wanted to be like Snow White because the birds, squirrels, rabbits, and other woodland creatures cheerfully joined her when she sang. The connection she had with all the...
Day 1: Space as Power Over
It was in Rome that I first became consciously aware of space used as power. After graduating from college, my long time friend and I toured Europe from the “luxury” of a bus with about 25 other recent college grads. 17 countries in 21 days (or something like that)...
Day 0: A Different Kind of Astronaut
I remember watching the moon landing on the small black & white TV in my parents’ bedroom, I sensed my dad’s excitement, but I had no understanding of the enormity of the event. More recently, I’ve been awed by the stunning images of outer space being transmitted...
