As soon as you trust yourself, you learn how to live.
~Goethe
When I heard this quote a couple of days ago, the clarity immediately resonated. and a million questions were sparked in my mind.
Why DON’T we trust ourselves?
For so many years and in so many ways, we’ve been told we’re wrong, someone else can do it better, it’s not our place, etc. Even if no one’s ever said this to you specifically, the general message of our culture and institutions is “you better get this right, or you’ll pay.” No wonder we don’t trust ourselves. The shame is deafening.
How does learning to trust yourself make you feel more alive?
You’d think that we’d trust ourselves more than anyone since we know ourselves better than anyone. But maybe that’s the problem. We hear all the arguments and excuses in our own head (and agree with them!) but we don’t hear that negative talk from others.
If we trust ourselves and put everything on the line and “it” doesn’t work out, there’s no one to blame but ourselves. No one to soften the blow. On the other hand, trusting ourselves is the ultimate measure of accountability. There may not be anyone to share the blame, but you also get all the glory. And…blame or glory, you get to choose the lessons you take away from the experience.
We ignore our feelings and needs when we don’t trust they exist or have value. In the worst cases, we convince ourselves that we don’t have any needs or desires. Talk about feeling dead! Learning to trust your feelings (yes, that intuition) will bring you back into touch with what truly alive in you.
How do we learn to trust ourselves?
Pay more attention to your inner genius than your inner critic. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Self-compassion certainly makes you feel more alive.
Pay attention to your feelings and needs. Do you notice the emotions and sensations in your body when you are happy, scared, or tenderhearted? What is the need behind those and other emotions?
The best way I know start learning to trust yourself is to use a grounding/centering practice. This will teach yourself to BE in the present moment. Here’s a link to a 15 minute audio get you started. I recommend grounding 3 times per day for a few weeks. You’ll get to the point where you can do it quickly. Keep it up. It’s a practice after all. 🙂
Here’s to rediscovering what’s ALIVE in you–and trusting it.
