An old boyfriend of mine had a yellow car he called “The Bee.” I’d never known anyone with at yellow car before, but after seeing “The Bee,” suddenly yellow cars were everywhere. Have you ever had something like that happen to you?
Blame it on the Reticular Activating System (RAS). It’s that part of your brain that filters out unnecessary info so what you focus on (consciously or not) is what gets through. Your brain is highlighting what it thinks is important to you and setting priorities.
Notice: I didn’t really need to focus on yellow cars, but my brain thought I, so I continued to notice yellow cars for quite a while. I saw more of what my brain was seeking.
If it’s true that you get more of what you focus on (and I believe it is), then what do you imagine would happen if we focused on things we love, instead of what we hate? What if our fight was FOR what we want–instead of against what we don’t want?
I believe every one of us ultimately wants the same things–To be loved, to experience joy & connection, and to be a valuable contribution. In fact, safety, belonging and dignity are human needs, not just something nice to have.
What if…
instead of fighting for control, we seek connection?
Instead of trying to prove someone wrong, we remember that they see things differently?
Instead of believing we need to “win” an argument, we focus on the intrinsic value of each person?
What kind of world could we create if we engage our RAS and focus on what we WANT–instead of what we don’t want?
I submit it would be kinder, more forgiving, loving place.
How will you shift your focus today so you get more of what you want?
