“You think too much.”
For so long, those words hit me in the gut. They carried a subtle suggestion that something was wrong with me and that I should be more carefree, more spontaneous. Maybe you’ve heard similar comments?
I felt a little better in my 40s when my StrengthsFinders assessment listed “Intellection” in my top five strengths. Finally, validation! Yes, I’m good at thinking – it’s a gift, not a flaw.
But any strength over used can become a hindrance, right?
I’ve spent countless hours analyzing situations from every possible angle–not to make better decisions– but because I was afraid of getting something wrong. (This time of year, it might show up as endlessly researching the “perfect” gift instead of trusting your intuition about what would delight someone you love.)
When I first heard “Overthinking is underfeeling” I knew in my gut it was the truth. I could talk about emotions for hours (loved it!)–but feeling them? That was unfamiliar territory.
Living primarily in our heads means emotions get intellectualized rather than experienced. Our intuition becomes quiet. Our relationships lack depth because we’re not fully present. Our stress responses intensify as we ignore our body’s signals.
My own journey of connecting with my body has brought unexpected gifts. Experiencing emotions fully – even the uncomfortable ones–makes me feel more completely human. The perfectionist standards I once held have softened. I feel more compassion for others and myself. Shame has less power now. (THAT feels great!)
If you recognize yourself in these words – if you’re a “love to think” kind of person ready to develop a stronger connection to your body – know that you don’t have to choose between thinking and feeling. You can have both.
Ready to explore this integration of mind and body? Join our 6-week Neuro-Emotional Intelligence Toolkit program. We’ll work together to develop practical tools that honor both your thinking and your emotional wisdom.
