“I should be further along. I should be able to do more. I shouldn’t be so tired.” These were the constant whispers in my mind as I pushed harder and harder in my business. Then one question stopped me in my tracks: “Who will I be if I don’t put all the pressure on myself?”
I took a short 3-week break and was astonished at how hard it was to do less. I still had all this energy but nowhere for it to go. I fluctuated between the perfectionistic fear of “getting it wrong” and shiny object syndrome of “I’ll try this!”
A short time later, the pandemic offered a great excuse to take a complete break from business. It wasn’t an easy decision. I felt guilty, lazy, and irresponsible. I also felt a huge sense of relief not having to think about or explain what I do or get clients.
We had recently moved and I felt liberated from self-imposed expectations. The next 2 ½ years were filled with excitement and creativity of creating Squared Away Ranch. There were still times when I felt like I was ignoring my child by ignoring my business. But something deeper was happening– my wise system was protecting itself.
I believed that you had to endlessly hustle and grind to be successful. I told myself was increasing my toughness and resilience by the pressure I put on myself. However, in not honoring the true capacity of my physical and emotional body, I wasn’t building my capacity, I was depleting it.
When we talk about burnout, we often focus solely on workload. But there are three equally important dimensions to consider:
1. Demands on our Energy
The volume of work matters, but so does its arrangement. How much we take on – and how we structure it – can either support or override our natural rhythms.
Are you honoring your peak energy times?
Have you created space for recovery between intense periods?
Do you need to say NO to some things?
2. Quality of our Work
The nature of our tasks shapes our vitality. What we choose to do can either energize or deplete us, depending on how well it aligns with our natural talents.
Which activities make you feel more alive?
Are you spending most of your time in your zone of genius?
Have you delegated or eliminated tasks that consistently drain you?
3. The Approach to Work
Our working style impacts our energy more than we realize. How we approach our work can either support or sabotage us.
How often does perfectionism, people pleasing or proving energy enter your work?
Are you maintaining an exhausting image of capability?
Do you find yourself polishing details far beyond what’s needed?
Have you given yourself permission to work in ways that feel authentic rather than expected?
When we honor our capacity, it can increase. When we don’t honor it, our capacity actually decreases.
It’s like tending a garden – when we respect natural seasons of growth and rest, our garden thrives. Force constant blooming, and the soil becomes depleted, the plants struggle, and eventually, the whole garden suffers.
When we finally find that place where our body feels safe – emotionally, physically, spiritually – we might resist leaving it. After spending so long pushing ourselves, we become starved for self-care. I understand this viscerally. I spent a year making excuses not to return to my business, afraid of feeling that pressure again. But that resistance wasn’t laziness – it was wisdom. My body needed that fallow season to restore.
Some practical suggestions:
- Choose 1-3 priorities or projects to work on –and complete– instead of trying to advance everything simultaneously. Completion is a wonderful fuel.
- Create a list of “low energy” tasks for days when your capacity is reduced.
- Notice when you’re operating from perfectionism or people-pleasing rather than true alignment with your body.
- Structure your work around your natural rhythms using techniques like batch working.
The paradox is quite beautiful. When I finally learned to slow down and truly listen to my body, I discovered I intrinsically had more energy to do things. Not because I pushed harder, but because I honored my natural capacity. Have you ever noticed how much energy it takes to push vs allow?
Take a moment now to check in with your body.
Consider your current goals and commitments (including all the hopes and expectations of the holiday season.) What physical sensations arise?
Which of the three dimensions – the energy, the quality or the approach – triggers the strongest physical response? That’s often where the most impactful changes can begin.
What “should” are you ready to release today to allow your natural capacity to flourish?
