Standing 30 feet away from my client, Sarah, I explained that in a minute I was going to walk toward her. At any point, should she want me to stop, all she needed to do was so. Additionally, if I felt I should stop, I would.
As we played around a bit more, Sarah began paying attention to the sensations in her body. She noticed her hands getting tight and a flutter in her belly. This felt familiar–like when she was in high school and a classmate had started a rumor about her. Rather than speak up, Sarah remained silent and pretended it didn’t happen so she could remain friends at school.
Earlier in our coaching relationship, we’d talked about the basic human needs of safety, belonging, and dignity and how we often give up one for the sake of the other. Sarah had given up dignity for the sake of belonging. This was a pattern that repeated itself many times over until it was “just what she did.”
This showed up in…
- her ability to get things done– while ignoring her own exhaustion.
- the way she couldn’t bear to disappoint anyone–except herself (because “she can handle it”).
- being intimidated by her boss and afraid to address it.
- telling herself to “suck it up and just push through.”
- the responsibility she took to make sure everyone else was happy.
That tiny finger movement from 20 feet away had a big message for Sarah. She realized how many of her own boundaries she was ignoring in her everyday interactions and how well she had practiced dismissing her needs. With her new insight, we developed new practices around paying attention to her body’s physical sensations. These days, Sarah’s more confident and trusts herself more. She has better relationships with her family and her work.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~Viktor Frankl
Our body is communicating with us all the time, but we’re going too fast and doing too much to hear. We ignore, talk over, and interrupt the wisdom of our body.
When we choose instead to s l o w d o w n, we become present and are able to respond differently.
Today I invite you to slow down and listen to the wisdom of your body.
