You’re Not Too Much-It’s Your Nervous-System Keeping You Safe

In our initial conversation “Sandy” wistfully stated, “I have a beautiful life. A life I never dreamed that I would ever have.” Then, with a catch in her voice that contained both despair and anger she said, ‘”But I’m 51 years old and I still have all of this… crap. And it just sucks!”

The Hidden Cost of “Having It All”

On paper, her life is a success. She owns her own business. She’s been proudly sober for over a decade. She has a loving family (including her own horses!) and other critters that she loves.

Later, she described that when her husband gets home from work, she’s immediately on edge. Her shoulders tense, her breathing shifts, and her nervous system prepares for threat – even though her logical mind knows she’s OK

When you’ve lived through trauma – whether it’s childhood abuse, addiction, or chronic stress – your nervous system develops specific patterns to keep you safe. In her case, Sandy spent years navigating an alcoholic home with domestic violence, surviving abuse, moving out at 16, and building a life from scratch while battling addiction.

Her body learned powerful lessons to keep her safe:

• always be on alert
• try to fix everything
• take responsibility for others’ emotions
• never fully relax

These weren’t conscious choices – they were survival strategies. And they worked!

But they don’t automatically update when your circumstances change.

Most of my clients have tried lots of ways to heal themselves – talk therapy, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, even regular bodywork. These approaches are valuable, but they miss addressing the nervous system and it’s underlying patterns.

Just like you can’t convince a spooked horse that it’s safe through logical argument, you can’t do that with the body either. You have to show it safety through experience and care.

A Different Path to Healing

This is why I work the way I do. I combine body-based tools with practical nervous system regulation techniques that you can use anywhere, anytime.

We start with awareness – learning to notice your body’s signals before they become overwhelming. Then we add in simple physical exercises that literally rewire your nervous system. Things like specific breathing patterns that signal safety to your brain, gentle movements that release stored tension, and practical tools for those moments when you feel triggered.

But here’s what makes this approach different: we don’t just learn techniques – we create experiences of safety. Each session builds your capacity to feel secure in your own skin. We might practice setting boundaries while staying regulated, or explore what it feels like to say “no” without your system going into high alert or people-pleasing.

We work in manageable steps, always at your pace. Sometimes that means starting with just 30 seconds of feeling more settled. Sometimes it means celebrating the tiny wins – like noticing you’re tense before your shoulders reach your ears.

After a few sessions, “Sandy” said her husband was noticing a shift in her. She was encouraged when he smiled and said, “There’s something different about you in the last 3 weeks–Different in a good way.”

Her response? “I started working with Kathy 3 weeks ago.” 😍

Does This Sound Like You?

You spend your whole life being the responsible one, the fixer, the “I’ve got this” person. You want to change, but your body’s so used to being on high alert that relaxing feels wrong–like you’re breaking some sacred rule by finally putting yourself first.

Been there. Done that.

Your nervous system mastered this dance long ago – stay vigilant, stay safe, handle everything. And those patterns helped you build an amazing life.

But what if staying on guard isn’t actually required anymore?

Just because something feels normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy. And just because everyone else is running on empty doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it too.
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If you’re resonating with this, if something in your body is saying “yes” (even if your mind is saying “but…”), I invite you to reach out. We can explore what this work might look like for you.

Remember: You’ve already done the hardest part – surviving. Now it’s time to learn how to thrive.

​Ready to begin your journey? Let’s talk about how we can work together to create lasting change – from the inside out.​

P.S.

When my client shared her story with me, she prefaced it by saying “I don’t want to be difficult.” This touched me deeply because it’s so common for us to apologize for our needs, our healing, our process. Let me be clear: You are not being difficult. You are not too much. Your healing matters, and it’s an honor to witness and support that journey.