Since our new horse, 8-year-old Sadie, arrived about a month ago it’s been fascinating to observe the shifting herd dynamics. It’s not unlike adding a new person at work, a new kid at school, or a new baby to the family. Relationships naturally shift. And they should.
Sadie’s a naturally curious and even bold horse. When a piece of paper blew out of the barn, Bentley startled and jumped away as if to say, “What was THAT?!” Sadie, on the other hand, wondered what it was and walked straight toward it, confident in her ability to keep herself safe if the situation changed.
Adding Sadie to the Herd has been like finding the missing piece to a puzzle. She doesn’t push the others around but doesn’t take any flack from them either. She has even won over Roxy, the 26-year-old herd matriarch who doesn’t take kindly to strangers. It’s heartwarming to see them hanging out together in peaceful companionship.
Sadie comes to us having been started late in her training by conventional horse standards. Most horses are started under saddle by the time they are 4. Racehorses are generally started 2 years before that! What this means to me is that she had lots of time just being a horse and she’s confident in who she is. She takes up the right amount of space. Her presence is a gift to the herd.
Your presence is your greatest gift.–and I don’t mean simply being in the same room with someone (but that’s a good start). When we’re truly present we “see” others–and we allow them to see us. We take up space. They take up space. It’s a recipe for healthy, nourishing connection.
This holiday season, I invite you to slow down and reconnect with who you are and what you need.
Do you need to buy fewer gifts? Attend fewer parties? Give yourself an uninterrupted afternoon to read or journal?
This may be seen as an act of rebellion. Some will say you’re being “selfish.”
My question is this. “If we don’t come back to ourselves and rest and recharge, are we really giving of ourselves? Or are we only giving what we can do or buy?”
I invite you to ditch compliance to the holiday hustle-bustle and try this to reconnect with yourself–even for a moment.
Sit comfortably and take a breath. Feel your feet on the floor and your seat in the seat. Ask yourself, “Where in my body do I feel the most amount of ME?” Put your hand there and tune in. What’s it like?
Most people’s hands go to their heads, their hearts, or their bellies. Wherever your hand landed, feel what it’s like to place it on the other spots, one at a time. What’s that experience like? How are the 3 locations different in how they feel?
Choose the one that felt the best and next time you have an interaction with someone, place your hand there as you speak to them, remembering how good it felt to be grounded in yourself for a bit. Notice the effect it has on your interaction.
Sadie–and all my horses–are eager to connect when I am connected to myself.
If you’d like to learn about connection, presence, and trusting yourself from Sadie and the Herd, join me for a Personal Immersive Retreat or individual coaching. I work with high achievers who want to trade overwhelm and overgiving for peace. They learn to handle pressure differently, how to change relationship patterns (with themselves and others), and how to have clear and healthy boundaries.
