Believe it or not, it’s taken a year for me to be brave enough to trot my horse without someone else holding on to him. As a horsewoman for over 50 years, I could be really embarrassed by this, but I’m not. Here’s why.
Nearly 4 years ago I got bucked off my other horse–HARD. Despite no broken bones, my body said NO to the idea of riding–and a lot of other things, too. It used to take 10 painful minutes to roll over in bed. I could only sit comfortably in certain chairs and only if I sat up very straight. No relaxed slumping for this gal. The physical recovery was slow, but each modality I tried (and there were lots of them) inched me closer to being able to sit on a horse again. (Applied neurology for the WIN!)
The biggest battle was the one in my head. My confidence was shot. Cognitively, I knew that Bentley was safe. He’s a sweetheart and has never given me any reason to doubt him. Nevertheless, without warning the flash feeling of getting bucked off would rush through my head every so often.
Tiffany is a friend, horse trainer, riding instructor, body worker–miracle worker! She has shown infinite patience with my horses and me over the last year. There’ve been many times when my brain forgot how to work. Never once did I feel inadequate or stupid for what I did or didn’t do. She reminded me that everything is just part of the process.
Last week, when she suggested we trot on our own in our big pasture, I felt a little wobbly at first, but we got better and more in sync with every stride until, at the end, I could honestly say “We had fun.” And I was proud of myself.
The way I feel in my body is so different than how I felt a year ago. I have more awareness and therefore, more choice. Tiffany gave me a huge gift in they way she owned her space–and only her space– so I could find mine again.
Having this kind of non-judgmental support in the face of change is essential. It allowed me to recover the leadership I’d inadvertently given away to others and learn to trust myself and feel grounded and powerful.
What change are you facing or trying to make happen? We aren’t meant to do hard things alone. Who’s in your corner offering non-judgmental support and helping you reclaim your space? I’d love to partner with you and have several ways we can work together. Reach out.
