My horse, Sadie, keeps me honest when it comes to being present. The first 6+ years of her life were stable and consistent, living with her mom and another horse. Not much was asked of her, and she got to do pretty much whatever she wanted.
In the 12 or so months between being taken from her mother and coming to us last November, she’d been in at least 5 other temporary homes. These changes made sense to humans, but they confused Sadie and made her guarded and distrustful of humans. Her natural response is to try to control situations as much as possible.
To have a healthy relationship with her, I must be present–aware of my surroundings, my body, energy attention, and the clarity of my request, but that’s not how it started.
I went out of my way to make sure I wasn’t putting undue stress on her or asking too much. I found myself making myself small and dismissing my needs in our relationship. When she’d respond aggressively, I took all the responsibility for the rupture in our relationship and tried to be gentler. When that didn’t work, I’d try being firmer and more in control.
Also a failure.
I’ve really had to learn how to be grounded and present. I’m more aware of the requests I make of Sadie and I don’t settle for a surly look my way as a positive indication of connection. True connection means we both get our needs met and this only happens when we’re both truly present.
Being present has so many amazing benefits:
Improved self-awareness: You gain a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and needs, allowing you to make choices that align with your true self.
Reduced stress and anxiety: By staying grounded in the present moment, you worry less about the future or dwell less on the past, leading to decreased stress levels.
Better emotional regulation: You’re more able to recognize and manage your emotions effectively, rather than being overwhelmed by them.
Increased resilience: A strong connection with yourself helps you bounce back from challenges and setbacks more easily.
So, how can you cultivate presence? Start small:
- Take a few deep breaths before responding to others’ requests to tune into your body, your needs and desires. No judgement, just simple awareness.
- Set aside a few minutes each day for quiet reflection or meditation–even better if there’s quiet movement involved.
- Practice body scans to reconnect with physical sensations. Easy to do anytime, anywhere–and no one will even know you’re practicing!
- Engage in activities that bring you into the present moment, like gardening or creating art–or being with horses. :heart
Remember, being present with yourself is a practice. It’s not about perfection, but about continually choosing to show up fully.
When you feel deeply connected to yourself and understand your own needs and boundaries, you can engage more authentically and meaningfully with others. This is the power of presence.
